


Introduce Yourself

by phoenixjustice



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman (New 52), Batman (rebirth), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: And this is what happens with it, Edward is the long suffering friend of Joker, Humor, M/M, this is what happens when people give me ideas at 6 am lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:40:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23873287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixjustice/pseuds/phoenixjustice
Summary: Batman/Joker, mentions of Riddler/Penguin, set sometime after New 52 (And probably sometime after Batman Rebirth as well.)There were many reasons why Edward Nygma wondered why he was friends with The Joker. This was one of them.
Relationships: Joker (DCU)/Bruce Wayne, Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma
Comments: 7
Kudos: 106





	Introduce Yourself

Introduce Yourself

By: PhoenixJustice

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"Eddie, Eddie!"

He sighs, putting his book down. " _What_ , Joker?"

"Well if you're going to be like _that_..." Joker pouts.

Edward rolls his eyes, more than used to Joker and his antics. He just had to wait, he knew. Three...two...

"Well, _fine_ , since you asked so nicely!" Joker said. He does a little twirl in his Arkham issued orange. He leans down. "I'm going on a date!"

Edward blinks.

"With who? Harvey?"

"Harvey? Pssh! As if he deserves it. He's cute, but there's only room for _one_ not quite mentally sane person in my relationship!"

"...Bane?"

Joker blanches. "After seeing _that_ cock in the shower? I love a good cock as much as the next person, but I don't want to be impaled by a...well, actually maybe I do. On second thought-"

"Who is it?"

"Batsy!" Joker's eyes light up, as they always do at the sound of Batman's name.

Joker was so pathetically in love with Batman that literally every single person in Gotham (including Old Miranda, who was a hundred years old and blinder than the bat that the hero had patterned himself off of) could see. Somehow Batman didn't see it, which left Joker always pouting and whining Edward's ear off about his latest 'love' woes. It got to be so much sometimes that Edward escaped Gotham just to get away from it.

"Joker," He tries to say in a reasonable tone. "We've been over this. Fighting so much where you get punched into the pavement is _not_ a date. And anyway, isn't he dating Selina?"

Joker growls. Literally growls, making Edward's eyebrows raise. He was used to Joker's anger at anyone being near Batman, including Selina, but this was a different sort of reaction entirely.

"They broke up." Joker hisses. "She couldn't handle staying so close over the fence of the good side and he couldn't handle her secrets."

"And you think _you_ can handle it? You twitch if you can't steal a _pencil_ from an orderly. You really think you can do what she couldn't?"

"Yes." Joker says simply, so clearly that it makes his eyes widen while he looks at him.

"Why?"

"I love him. What more reason do I need?" Joker shrugs. Suddenly the playful tone that had been there when he had suddenly accosted Edward is gone, leaving something more melancholy and serious. "People can change."

"You..." Edward starts.

"And anyway!" Joker says, sounding a bit more like he usually does. "It's not like I'm leaving the life altogether. At least not yet. Where do you think me and Batman get a lot of our fun from? It took _ages_ for him to admit that it's just as fun for him, the chase, the back and forth, as it is for me. But he _did!"_

"And now he's taking you out on a date." Edward says, skeptically.

"Yes!" And the lovesick look is back in Joker's eyes. He smiles and Edward is astounded how free it is of the usual mania or menace. "He promised."

"Well..." Edward says, looking around, having quite forgotten about his book now. "He might have a hard time of it considering where you are right now. Or are you breaking out again?"

The ensuing chaos could be fun to watch for a bit. Maybe he'd throw a riddle to the director of Arkham and see them try and piece it together to give Joker a bit of a headstart. Joker might get on his nerves sometimes but he was still, surprisingly, what Edward would call a friend. Maybe even best friend. Edward and Ozzie were close, of course, but that was...not a platonic affair.

Joker's smile widens. "Even better than that!"

Before Edward can ask what he means by that, a sudden uproar from outside the rec room catches his attention. He can't make out anything until the doors open suddenly.

"This is _most_...unusual." The director of Arkham says, all but wringing his hands

"It's Gotham; she is a city of the unusual." says a voice coming in behind him.

He steps inside the room and Edward is shocked to see it's Bruce Wayne, billionaire playboy. The only times he had seen Bruce Wayne near Arkham was to put more money into it or for a charity event or something. He had never personally come to the rec room. His eyes seem to roam the room for something. Joker is very unusually quiet now. He _never_ shut up. So why-

Bruce Wayne comes to stand in front of the two of them, but his eyes are only for Joker.

"Come on." Wayne says abruptly. "I'm here to transfer you out."

Joker stands willingly enough without issue, further shocking Edward. The director has already started to leave, looking ill at ease and Wayne starts to leave without looking back at Joker. But Joker...

Joker turns and winks at Edward, putting a finger to his lips in a clear _shh_ motion.

Oh.

_Oh._

_OH._

_Holy shit._

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End file.
